Should you avoid the word "referral" when you say thanks?

Randy, an advisor in Canada, wrote us recently with a question about thanking referral sources:

Some time ago I read something to the effect that it is more effective and respectful not to use the word referral when thanking someone who has suggested that someone should deal with us. As I recall, it was something like, thank you for introducing us or thank you for telling Mr. Graham about our services. The intent of the message was to get across that we appreciated our client telling someone about us, but also that we did not consider them the be part of our sales/referral system. It was more about mutual respect, rather than "Yahoo, thanks for bringing me more business!" The article stated that saying 'thanks for referral' brings the focus back to the advisor and how the advisor would benefit. But the focus should be on the new client and the person who suggested the new client talk to us.

Does this sound familiar, or can you add to this?

Randy is 100% right about his general point: throughout the process of asking for and following through on referrals, the focus should be on the referral source and the person he/she is helping you meet, not on your business development strategy.

With rare exceptions, clients don't care much about you--and why should they? They're paying YOU to help THEM. They're concerned with what you can do for them and for the people they care about.

That's why we recommend a client-centered approach to asking for referrals. This means focusing on bringing value to your client relationships: enhancing their lives and the lives of people they know.  Focus on the needs of people your clients know and how you can help them, rather than on how they can help you. Not only will this approach motivate clients to provide you with more names and introductions, it will make you feel better about asking in the first place.

The real point here is not  your choice of words--it's your mindset. If you're truly client-centered, that will come across. Similarly, if your primary concern is really getting more business, clients will probably pick up on that, regardless of which words you use.

However you phrase your thank-you, make sure to offer one in a timely fashion--and all the better if you do it by hand on high-quality stationery.