4 ways NOT to ask for referrals

In a recent post, I talked about the client-centered referral mindset: positioning your referral requests in terms of how you can help your clients and the people they know, not in terms of how they can help you.

Common sense, right?  That's why it's amazing how many "referral experts" recommend methods of asking for referrals that not only focus on the advisor, but actually border on blackmail.

Do any of these sound familiar?

• "I can either spend my time looking for new clients or providing better service to your account. You determine that via the referrals you send me. Which will it be?"
• "Since you've found value in what I've done for you, let's sit down and brainstorm: Who do you know who could benefit from my services?"
• "I'd really appreciate it if you could refer me to a few of your friends. I need new clients to stay in business—it's so hard these days to find prospects."
• "There are two ways I get paid—from commissions and from your referrals."

As Horsesmouth expert and referral guru Michael Brizz says, if you're going to position referrals that way, you might as well have the word 'bloodsucker' branded across your head.

Here's a better way:

"You mentioned that your father is retiring soon and that he's been worrying about what's going to happen with his company's pension plan.  I have helped a number of clients who have also retired from XYZ Corporation over the past few years, and I think may be able to answer some of his questions and put his mind at ease.  Would you like to talk to him about setting up a time for the three of us to get together?"

See the difference?  Now you're a potential hero—a caring expert rather than an extortionist.

Check out chapter two of Automatic Referrals for more about the client-centered referral approach.  Also, take a look at Referrals: 8 Tactics That Make Asking Easier (free registration required) for more about how to make your referral requests more effective.

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Comments

[elizabeth]

I would like to write my past clients and ask them for a referral. I sell real estate, and am looking for a creative effective standard letter, Can anyone guide me to a website, or can you help thnks Liz

[Miriam Lawrence]

Hi Elizabeth,

This post has some language in it that you can use:
http://www.automatic-referrals.com/automatic_referrals/2007/02/how_can_i_stop_.html

Also, here is some language from financial advisor Deena Katz. This is an excerpt from a Horsesmouth article called Referrals: 8 Tactics That Make Asking Easier (http://www.horsesmouth.com/linkpo/74583_18.htm). Katz says, "Once a year, we send a letter thanking our clients for being our clients, with a very soft request for referrals. We have received more referrals from this approach than anything else." Here is part of a letter Katz sent a few years ago:

"In a few short months, we will be celebrating our 20th year in business. We want to take the opportunity now to thank you for making this milestone possible... Nearly 100% of our new clients come to us by referral.... Recently, many of you have asked us if we are taking on new client relationships. The answer is a qualified yes! We say, "qualified" because, although we are well poised for growth, we are interested in growing at a reasonable pace without compromising the trust and confidence you have placed in us. We will value others like you, who seek a long-term relationship with experienced professionals.... A referral from you and your continued business are the highest compliments we could ever receive.

I hope this helps, and wishing you much success with your referral strategy!

--Miriam

[Maureen Liew]

It is very true indeed that referrals with a view to expend your business should inevitable center around how your clients can benefit from their introduction rather than "What they can help YOU". I'm afraid this is how the world is these days. No body cares what you want but what they can get out of "helping" you.