Learn to listen for referral clues

One of the most important components of the Automatic Referrals process is detective work. Conversations with clients (and friends, family members and colleagues) are literally filled with information that can lead to referrals.  Clients will tell us many significant things just in passing—and many more if we ask even the simplest questions and then pay attention to the answers.  The advisor who got five referrals by asking "how's your family?" is a perfect example. 

But to make this process work, you've got to know how to listen to your clients—REALLY listen.  (It goes without saying that even if you don't care about referrals, there is nothing more critical than learning to listen well.)

That's why Ron McDaniel's post Your next conversation: 6 Things that will make it different is so useful.  "If football is a game of inches," Ron says, then "meaningful conversations are a game of nuances."  He suggests the following six small changes in how we approach any conversation that lasts longer than a minute:

1) Listen 50% more
2) Ask twice as many questions
3) Hold eye contact 50% more
4) Make slight contact, or hold contact slightly longer (as in, your handshake)
5) Show sincere sympathy or enthusiasm for something they say
6) Ask if there's anything you can help with

Here's an added strategic point.  We all need to ask ourselves, "Do I listen? Or do I wait to talk?"  Personally, I spent most of my life up until a couple of years ago waiting to talk.  Since I started consciously working on listening instead, I've been amazed at the doors that have opened for me in just about every arena.

If you answered "wait to talk," you may want to spend a few minutes with this fabulous article (free registration required) about listening to clients written by a very successful independent advisor, Jeffrey Gitterman of Gitterman & Sacks.

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