Sometimes it pays to solicit advice instead of referrals

A colleague of mine has been giving some thought to Bill Cates and his recommendation to solicit referrals by asking clients or family members for advice.  She'd been skeptical, she reports, until now:

"Recently, I've had an experience with asking a family member (a close aunt) for help and advice with a difficult situation (in-law problems, and I've never had in-law problems before now). I've noticed how gleeful my aunt is to help me sort through this emotional mess. Granted, I'm not asking her for the names of her best friends so I can interview them or ask them for their business... but I'm asking for her help and advice. It's reminded me that, in general, it's very flattering to be asked for your opinion. It makes you feel like an expert. It shows that the person asking respects your knowledge.

That's what the Cates method does. You go to your client with whom you have a good relationship, and you lean on them for advice. How can I reach more people with my services? Do you know anyone who might be interested?  You're asking for their help because you respect their opinion. It's quite different from begging. And, I suspect that FAs who approach asking for referrals in this way are VERY effective."

She's right--this method can be very effective.  We had an advisor tell us this story in response to our referral survey in 2004: "I had been asking a client for referrals, every meeting, for a year. When I asked for advice, rather than referrals, he opened his wallet and gave me the name and address of four people to contact using his name." 

Here's a more detailed example of how this can work.  My friend Bob Burg, who wrote the wonderful books Endless Referrals and Winning Without Intimidation, tells the story of a big corporate prospect he'd been pursuing for years without success.  Then he found out that this corporation was a major client of a friend of his.  He didn't want to create the impression that his friend owed him anything, but he didn't want to let this opportunity pass, either. So he asked for the friend's advice on how to best pursue this corporation.  Here's what he said:

"I know this is a huge client of yours, and I’m not in any way asking you to make a connection for me. But I’d love to know what you think is the best way for me to go about contacting the right person, so I can at least get the opportunity to establish and develop a relationship with them."

But apparently the friend would have none of that. He said he'd have his main contact at the company contact Bob—and he did. Over the years since, Bob says, that client has accounted for several million dollars in sales.

In addition to getting referrals, this can be a very effective method for breaking into a new niche.  It's the prime method an independent named Jim Abel used to build a niche business around serving physicians (free registration required). 

As an advisor, it may feel strange to turn the tables and asking someone ELSE for advice.  But do try it.  It really works. 

Subscribe to our free referrals newsletter.