One of the biggest misconceptions I hear from advisors is the idea that asking for referrals will ruin their reputation or destroy their professional image--that it is somehow dishonorable. Here's what a few advisors wrote in our recent call for referral challenges:
"I've been turned off in the past when people have asked me for referrals and sure don't want to come across that way to others. That's mainly why I don't specifically ask for referrals. How can I ask for referrals and at the same time not be pushy or come across as desperate/non-professional? " Andy, Independent advisor, Dallas, Texas
"It's very difficult to ask my best clients for referrals as I do not want to sound strapped for business. How can I phrase a referral request that sounds professional?" B.F., regional advisor, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
"I have been in the business for many years. I recently identified seven clients that I would like to clone. We have a great relationship and I would like their help. How can I ask them for referrals without sounding like a beggar or a pushy salesperson?" William, independent advisor, Minneapolis, Minnesota
In fact, it's not the act of asking that causes people to sound desperate or unprofessionalâit's the WAY they ask.
If you drop misty-eyed to your knees in front of your client, clutch his hand and plead that you'll be bankrupt within 24 hours if he doesn't cough up some referrals, then yes, you may leave a bad impression.
But getting back to reality, if you position your requests the way you should anyway (for general effectiveness), you will preserve honor and then some. Because you're going to position yourself not as a desperate salesperson, but as the capable expert you are, someone who has helped your client and recognizes an opportunity to help someone else the client knows. "Wow, it sounds from what you've said like your brother may not be getting the tax protection he needs. I've helped a number of clients with this kind of problem. Shall we have lunch sometime, the three of us? I think I can carve out some time next week..."
Or, you can position yourself as a prominent member of the community who would like to meet another prominent community member whom your client knows. "You know, Ruth, I've always wanted to meet Roxanne. She's on the symphony board, and I'm on the museum board, and I've always thought it might make sense for our two groups to put on a fundraiser together. Do you suppose you could introduce us?"
You can even ask clients for help outright, as in William's question above, while preserving honor and professionalism. Imagine you've just had a new house built by the best contractor in town, and he comes to you and says, "Mr. Smith, I've built houses for some of the top businesspeople in town, but you're the first financial advisor I've worked for, and that's actually a market I've been wanting to cultivate. Can I take you out for a round of golf and lunch and pick your brain about the best way to reach other advisors?"
That's not a guy who's desperate for clients. That's a successful businessman who is curious to learn about a new market and sees you as the expert. In fact, don't you feel a bit flattered that he wants your advice? Wouldn't you be happy to help (assuming of course that you're pleased with his work on your new home)?
But here's the real secret to preserving honor when asking for referrals: you have to position yourself this way in your own mind before you can do it with clients. Believe it: you ARE a capable professional and an expert who helps others. You ARE a prominent member of the community who deserves to meet other important people. Asking for advice and counsel doesn't diminish you or make you look unprofessional--to the contrary, it helps you look smart and open-minded and it makes other people feel good!
If you're finding any of this difficult, it would be a good idea to work on your professional self-image--and a good place to start is to take a step back and look at yourself as your best clients see you (or, if you have no clients yet, as they WILL see you someday). The "What I Do for my Clients" worksheet in the Automatic Referrals report may help.
If you still can't honestly see yourself in a positive light when you look through your clients' eyes, you may need to rethink the way you do business.
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