If you read this blog regularly, you know by now that I'm a big fan of marketing expert and Horsesmouth contributor Robert Middleton. His tactical marketing advice is always spot on... but I REALLY like Robert's stuff because he understands so much of the psychology that underlies marketing success and failure. In particular, he is always (albeit gently) riding his readers, pushing them to be more aware of their own negative or fearful attitudes and self-talk.
One of Robert's recent blog entries, entitled "Ruffling Some Feathers," identifies a problem with which I'm all too familiar—I hear it day in and day out from advisors struggling with referrals.
Robert writes:
...In the past week I lost a few hundred subscribers.
Why? Because I committed the unpardonable sin (in the eyes of some subscribers) of trying to actually sell them something!
When I do a special promotion (which I did two weeks ago), and send out a few follow-up emails, a lot of people unsubscribe. I even get comments from people who are infuriated that I would stoop so low.
"You should just give away free information and then let people decide for themselves if they want to buy something from you." is often the tone of these emails. Or, "If you didn't promote anything in your eZine, we'd like it so much better."
...Inevitably, those who recoil when someone tries to sell them something are, without exception, people who are afraid to sell themselves. Selling is characterized as "beneath their dignity."
We at Horsesmouth call this attitude "sales shame," (free registration required)—and if it doesn't kill your career outright, it will most certainly give you ulcers.
Robert Middleton continues:
You'd think that people who went into business for themselves would be somewhat beyond this view of selling. Of course, many are. They understand that selling is simply an opportunity to share the value they offer to the world.
They realize the upside of sharing this value greatly outweighs any possible rejection they might experience.
Robert has captured the essence of a mindset that is key to transforming your referral marketing. I boil it down to a simple phrase: "Always sell in the service of others."
You may be thinking, "Hey, I already do that. My clients are always first and foremost in my mind."
No doubt that's true in the realm of investment recommendations, product sales, and client service. But do you typically think of REFERRALS as being about the client? Aren't referrals about YOU? Helping YOU get more clients and assets? Building YOUR business?
Actually, no. And that's the mindset shift I'm talking about. Referrals (and indeed, prospecting in general) are not about scrounging for new business. They're about offering your guidance and expertise to the people your clients care about.
We call this a "client-centered mindset." It means that your primary motivation is relieving clients' pain and helping them achieve their dreams. If you always sell in the service of others—and ask for referrals in that spirit—you'll find that much of your referral anxiety will melt away. And while that alone won't solve all of your problems, it'll take you a long way.
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