Conquer Your Self-Limiting Thoughts and Get More Referrals in 2007

I have heard only a handful of speeches in the course of my life that actually transformed me in some lasting way. Six years ago, I heard one of those speeches. I was attending a performance improvement conference in San Francisco where the featured speaker was Debra Benton, author of a variety of books including How to Think Like a CEO and How to Act Like a CEO. Benton has studied and interviewed hundreds of chief executives and found that they share a number of key traits.  She addressed one specifically in her keynote that I found profoundly important.

If you want to think and act like a CEO, Benton explained, look around you, see what everyone else is doing, and then DON'T do that.  Do the opposite.

She illustrated this principle in a very immediate way that I was fortunate enough to experience firsthand. At the end of the keynote, she held up a copy of her latest book, and said, "This book is for someone in this audience.  I'm waiting." 

All of the 1,000-plus people in the room just sat there for a moment, looking around with confused expressions, waiting for something to happen.  After about 20 seconds, a few people somewhat tentatively raised their hands.  Benton smiled and said, "That's not it." Then one or two folks stood up and waved at the podium.  Benton just stood there, still holding the book, and shook her head.

That's when the light bulb went off in my head. I looked around at everyone else to see what they were doing.   What they were doing was sitting, doing nothing, waiting.  So I applied the lesson I had just learned in the keynote. I did the opposite. I stood up, squeezed past the row of other attendees and made my way to the aisle. Then I walked up to the podium with my hand outstretched toward Ms. Benton and the book. 

Out of a room of 1,000 people, I was the only one to take that risk—the risk that I might make a fool of myself.  And guess who went home with the book?

I have carried that experience and that lesson with me to this day.  I tell you about it now because I was reminded of it by Robert Middleton's More Clients blog entry today, "Two Huge Things." The bottom line of Robert's post: go into the new year with big intentions—and strip yourself of the mental limitations that are holding you back.  He writes:

"What beliefs are you addicted to that are holding you back from realizing your intentions? As long as you remain attached to them, they will shape your current reality as they always have.

• Are they about how much money you can earn?
• Are they about how successful you can be?
• Are they about your capability as a marketer?
• Are they about the difference you can ultimately make?

And what if those beliefs weren't really true at all? Take a few minutes to seriously question them."

That day six years ago in a San Francisco hotel ballroom , as I walked up to that podium to claim my prize, I realized how powerful self-imposed limitations can be, and simultaneously how easy it can be to jettison them—and what you can accomplish if you do.  How many conversations have I failed to initiate; how many opportunities have I failed to leverage; how many ideas have I failed to try in my life... all because of self-limiting thoughts?  How many referrals have you NOT gotten because of YOUR self-limiting thoughts?

You want more referrals, or you would not be reading these words today.  The new year is here.  Now is your chance. Resolve to map out your intentions—and more importantly, become aware of your own limiting beliefs, and work consciously against them.

There is a Dale Carnegie quote that I always use to close my presentations on conquering referral anxiety:

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

Read Robert's post. Read the articles below (free registration required).  Then make 2007 a truly transformative year in your business and your life. 

Happy New Year!

How to Wipe Out Self-Limiting Thinking in 5 Steps
Your greatest barrier to success is not the market or your competition. It's your own mind. Find out today how to recognize and overcome self-limiting thoughts that prevent you from reaching your full potential.

Your Productivity Starts With Positive Thinking
Try these strategies for controlling negative thoughts and outbursts during difficult situations. You'll find yourself happier, more productive, and better able to maintain good relationships.

Turn Around Your Negative Thinking in 3 Steps
Your future success depends on your ability to meet adversity with renewed energy and optimism. Remember, your thoughts influence your feelings and actions. Follow this method for staying upbeat in the face of rejection.